Moving right along!

It’s been a long time coming but I finally reached my career goal: Brooke Bingham, RN! It wasn’t easy. It was a long, winding road full of bumps and detours and road construction. And I’m pretty sure that somewhere in that analogy I hit a deer or two. BUT, I did it. If I were to give a speech I would thank Mountain Dew and energy drinks for keeping me going, my doctor for prescribing me Ativan so that I wouldn’t have too many nervous breakdowns, and my parents for always being there to cheer me on…MOVING RIGHT ALONG!

I’m currently working full-time at Pioneer Care Center and liking it most days. I love my residents and see them almost as a second family. The hours are long and I’m on my feet for most of my 12-hour shifts but the days go by fairly quick, and nothing beats having to work only three days a week and still be considered full-time! 

I’ve recently made the decision to finally be done with school. I was going to pursue a higher degree but quickly found that I had zero motivation for it. Instead, I’m going to focus on other things in life that I’ve had on the back burners.

NEW interests:

1. Hockey!

-There’s something incredibly satisfying about going to a game with friends and watching big hulking guys slamming each other into the barrier walls and breaking out into fights. Sometimes a little live violence is fun! ;)

2.  The Ukulele

-I have always wanted to play a musical instrument and I found one that fits my personality perfectly: the ukulele. Channeling my hippy side is always fun.

3    3.  Europe-bound

-     -Yes, I still have the travel bug! If I could, I’d be traveling right now. Turns out you need to have MONEY to travel and so I’m slowly paying off past debts and looking ahead towards next summer when ill hopefully be visiting a friend in Europe!

 4. Book club!

-I joined a book club because why the hell not?! 

Feeling grateful

Today I’m feeling extremely grateful for my friends and family. Today I hung out with one of my best friends Tanica and her adorable little baby Brexlyn. I seriously love this girl so much! Last summer her and I spent a month together in Brazil and we had the time of our lives. She’s always there when I need someone to vent to and I trust her with my life. She’s my fellow doomsday prepper, Harry Potter quoter, and  my “wifey”;  I’m so lucky to have her in my life!

Strengths, Weaknesses, and Bravery

With all of the homework and studying and 135 hours of precepting I’ve been doing, it seems I’ve been too busy to really acknowledge the fact that I’m ALMOST done with nursing school. It recently hit me the other day that I’ll be graduating from the RN program soon. “Soon” means THIS month…exactly three weeks from today, in fact. When did this happen?! I even got a job offer today for a full-time position on day shift 3 days/week, 7AM-7PM. I’ll be hired on as an LPN until I take the NCLEX and get my RN license! I’m so excited and I’m feeling extremely blessed lately.

                I’ll be honest though, I’m a bit nervous. New chapters in life are always nerve-wracking and tend to bring on a whole array of new tests and challenges. I have this annoying habit of doubting myself and selling myself short. I look at people who seem to ooze natural confidence in anything and everything they do, and I envy them. Although I AM confident in many ways, it hasn’t ever come easily. What I lack in confidence, however, I make up for in diligence.  

                One thing about me is that I refuse to fail at something I really put my mind to. I have many shortcomings and flaws and I’ll be the first to admit it, but I’ve come to realize that I’m the type of person who thrives and blooms amidst adversity. The way I naturally tend to shy away from uncomfortable situations is the reason I force myself to do something out of my comfort zone almost every day. Is that not an example of bravery? Slowly but surely my shortcomings and weaknesses always end up becoming my strengths.

                So, despite my self-doubt, I’ll continue to do what I always do in life; I will meet challenges and obstacles face to face with an unwavering determination. I will continue to grow and bloom, always. Because there’s a fire inside me that can’t be put out, it only burns higher and higher. This fire is what keeps me going in life.

                I also believe there’s a fire inside of everyone. Unfortunately, some people let theirs die out. Or worse, they let OTHERS smother out their fire. Don’t let your fire go out! Be brave. Keep it going and take care of it, because that fire is essential in life.

Like the Legend of the Phoenix

Holy! Super behind on blog updates so this post may be a little lengthy because there is A LOT that has happened and is going on right now…my little brother Tyler is left on his mission and I’ve been really sad that I won’t be able to see him for 2 whole years! Add in financial problems and seeing loved ones go through life trials and life starts getting really stressful and it’s hard to see the positives in life. I realize that focusing on the positives in life, ESPECIALLY during the hard times, is very important in staying happy. It can be easy to get to the point of depression and then hard to climb back out again. So, despite these trials and hard times I know that I need to count all of my blessings.

                But here I go again, stressing about things and trying to resist change when I know it is inevitable. Going with the flow seems to come easier for others, but my Type A personality makes it hard to relax sometimes. I’ve decided there are both pros and cons to this, but I’ve also realized throughout the years that I seem to thrive in stressful times and eventually overcome any and all obstacles in my way…almost like a baptism by fire. Initially I find myself overwhelmed and stressed, but then something clicks and I adapt and overcome.  I sometimes compare myself to being like the mythological Phoenix, a bird that is reborn from his own ashes.  With every new trial I face in life I also see my confidence in my own inner strength increase.  But anyhoo, without further ado, here are some additional updates!

1.     Accutane

         Today I have been on Accutane for over 3 months; I still have a couple months left but I’m already so happy with the results! For those of you who don’t know, Accutane is a very harsh drug that is usually a last resort type of drug for severe and/or persistent acne. It permanently shrinks oil glands, reduces inflammation and acne bacteria, and helps prevent clogs.

                It’s definitely producing some amazing results, but the side effects are very harsh on the body. During the first month I had extremely dry and flaky skin, chapped lips, dry nose, dry eyes, and I was constantly thirsty. I got pretty emotional for a couple weeks as well and had really achy joints and was too tired to do much of anything. This past month, however, has been much better. I still get joint pain at times and I tire easily but I can at least function!  I’m still dry and am constantly reapplying chapstick and putting lotion on but it’s not as bad as it was.

                 I’ve had very persistent acne since I was like 12 years old and I’ve always had break outs and I’ve never really had a completely cleared up face. It’s just been something I’ve had to get used to over the years, which was hard because I’ve always been so self-conscious about it and it just seriously sucks to have acne and oily skin. I’ve always hated when people with perfect skin would say “Ugh I’ve got a zit”. One zit? What I wouldn’t do to have only ONE zit. But my skin has definitely started clearing up and my skin isn’t as oily as it used to be! It will be nice to go without makeup and feel comfortable.

2.     School and Work

          I got through finals and had an amazing month-long break! Unfortunately, school starts back up this upcoming week but I’m happy because soon I’ll be done!  I can’t believe I only have 1 semester of school life! It feels like I’ve been in school and working towards this goal FOREVER and it will be nice to finally finish. After this next semester I’ll schedule a time to take my final RN test and hopefully pass and officially become an RN! I can’t wait to start working full time and bring in the big bucks! I haven’t been working many flu clinics lately for work but I start Wellness Clinics this upcoming week so I will have more opportunities to work!

3.     Tyson

          Last but DEFINITELY not least, is my amazing boyfriend Tyson “Pegwin” Bunn. We’ve been dating since September and we made it official on October 27^th. This guy is pretty amazing… he is so chill and peaceful and friendly and warm. He is the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. 

         A little about him…He’s been working at Parker Hannifin for six years making airplane parts and is huge into snowboarding and even has a few sponsors. We both love watching scary movies and reading and cuddling together. He has introduced me to some amazing new reggae music and plans on teaching me how to snowboard this winter. I could write several pages on how amazing this guy is but I’ll just sum it up; we were each other’s “Game changer” and I feel so blessed to have him in my life.

Autumn is my favorite season; I love the beautiful red and burnt-orange leaves, the crisp fall air, the scary movies and haunted houses, the hoodies and cuddles and hot chocolate.  I’ve been busy with school and homework and clinicals and working the flu clinics but it has been such an amazing and memorable season so far.

              I just can’t emphasize enough how much I LOVE October; I love getting scared and i’ve probably watched 100 scary movies this month (okay, I might be exaggerating a bit, but I’ve seriously watched a LOT haha), and so far I’ve been to the 666 Fear Factory in SLC and the Haunted Hollow forest in Ogden. My favorite part about Haunted Hollow was the “Zombie Paintball Safari”! It’s pretty self-explanatory but you get a paintball gun and drive around on a big military truck and shoot at people dressed up as zombies! Seriously had THE time of my life! I also plan on hopefully going to Asylum 49 in Tooele because I went last year and it was amaaazingzingzing!

                I have 8 weeks left of school until my month-long Christmas break!! J After that I’ll have one more semester until I get my RN!! I can’t believe how close I am but I’m anxious to finally finish and start working and making the big bucks! This has been such a big goal of mine that has taken up so much of my focus and energy and time throughout the years that it’s left me wondering, “What now?” I’m not going to stop just because I made it to the top of one mountain, I’m going to look ahead at the next mountain and start climbing that one.

                SOOOO…. What’s next for me in the next few years?

1.       Save up and buy my own house

·         I want to have my own place. I want to have chickens and I want to collect eggs and have my own garden full of fruits and veggies. I want to live right here in Utah, somewhere quiet and peaceful with wide open spaces and a couple of dogs.

2.       Backpack through Europe

·         Yep, I still want to travel the world! I want to save up and then spend an entire summer traveling throughout Europe with just enough clothes and things to fit in a backpack; I love the idea of staying at cheap hostels, buying fresh food from farmers markets, seeing the popular sites such as the Sistine Chapel and the Louvre, but also finding the hidden, underrated treasures that are only found when wandering aimlessly.

3.       Do all the things I haven’t  ever really had time to do

·         Write a book

·         Gym it up and get in the best shape of my life

·         See the rest of the World Wonders

·         Maybe fall in love? ;)

One Day at a Time.

So I’ll just get right down to it: Today was miserable; it was the most emotionally exhausting day I’ve had in quite some time and I kinda sorta had a mini meltdown at school. As most of you know (the ones who follow my blog at least), I’m in my final year of nursing school before I get my RN. This has been a goal of mine since before I can remember and I’ve worked really hard to get to where I am now. I had tried to prepare myself for starting school again, but I’m three weeks into the school year and I just haven’t been myself lately; I can’t focus, some of the material I’m being taught goes through one ear and out the other, and I’m lacking confidence in my clinical skills. I just feel like I’m really behind on everything and I’ve been lacking both energy and that self-motivation of mine that I usually pride myself on. The stress has been building up for awhile now and has been affecting me both physically and mentally…and today just so happened to be the day that was, as they say, “the straw that broke the camel’s back”.

                Those who know me know how hard I am on myself when it comes to just about anything and everything. If I don’t understand a certain concept right away or if I get just one problem wrong on a certain test that you fail if you get anything less than 100%, I automatically start doubting myself and I consider myself inadequate and not good enough. When stuff like this happens I usually TRY (key word) to just get through it and hope that tomorrow will be a better day. I like to consider myself a tough gal who can handle her own problems and rise above it all, but today I wasn’t so strong and ended up having that mini meltdown I mentioned at school. It was pretty embarrassing actually, and to make things even worse it was the longest day of school I have for the week (8:30AM-5PM).  

                What started off as a miserable day, however, turned out to be an “I’m doing okay” day. I’m blessed with family and friends who are both loving and supportive and are always there when I need them. I can always count on someone to cheer me up and make life seem a little more bearable. Sometimes I think that if I can’t handle my own problems then I must be a weak person…but, then I have to remind myself that’s just me being hard on myself again. The Dalai Lama tells us that it is the very act of struggling that ultimately results in our strength, and to not be afraid to lean on people during times of weakness because doing so actually makes you a stronger person. So today I’m going to recuperate; I’ll read a book just for fun, and not a textbook to study. I’ll listen to some 311 and try and meditate and pray.  I’ll cuddle with my dog and watch a funny movie (or maybe a horror movie, because those make me happy too hehe). I’ll eat LOTS of chocolate and text a cute boy. Maybe I’ll go on a walk with a friend and vent or spend time with my mom. I know I can get through this I just have to stay positive and take one day at a time. 

The only constant thing in life is change

Is anyone else freaking out that we’re in the first week of August? I sure am! I’ve enjoyed being lazy VERY much but now I need to start preparing myself for the months ahead of me; in 21 days I’ll be starting school again! I can’t believe that in just 10 short months I’ll be a Registered Nurse (RN)!!! This has been a really big dream/goal I’ve had since before I can remember and I can’t believe that after all the hard work and time I’ve put into this goal, I’m “nearing the top of the mountain”. This may very well be my last year of school…at least for a little while. People say I’m crazy for liking school so much but I have a very curious mind and I love to learn, and so while I’ll have my career goals accomplished, I’ll most likely end up back in school just for fun! I can see myself taking random classes on different cultures and religions with some creative writing and literature courses thrown in.  And hey, maybe I’ll even continue on in health care and become a Nurse Practitioner! The sky is the limit as they say.

                Another exciting yet completely nerve-wracking life event going on in my life right now is my new job as an LPN nurse! I had to quit my job at Pioneer Care Center because once someone steps up the ladder and obtains a license, they can’t work under that license. This means that now that I’m a nurse I can no longer ever be a CNA (nurse’s assistant).  It’s weird to think that I’ve been a CNA for nearly 6 years and now I’ll never have to be one ever again…oh, happy day! Haha don’t get me wrong, I LOVED my residents but all that lifting and such has put a lot of wear and tear on my body, especially my back! But yeah, I was nervous about how I was going to pay my bills without a job but I quickly got a call for an interview at Maxim Health! I was hired on the spot during the interview and am now proud to say that I’m finally a working nurse! I’ll be doing the wellness clinics and giving vaccines all over northern Utah; it’s only seasonal so I’ll only have a job for 4 months but they said that afterwards they would keep me on for their permanent Home Health job if I was still interested. I think this is the perfect first LPN job because they said I can choose my hours (which is perfect because I’ll have school a few days each week) and It will be a pretty simple job.

                I’m happy for my accomplishments but I’m a bit nervous for how much things are changing in my life right now. I learned that the only thing that remains constant in life IS change and so usually I try to embrace it, but sometimes it’s a scary and overwhelming feeling and I have to pause for a big breath or two. However, as most of you already know, I’m always up for a new adventure! I’ll enjoy whatever this life gives me and I’ll “enjoy the journey” while climbing towards my goals and dreams. And once I get to one peak of the mountain I’ll look out at the next highest peak and start climbing that one!