Speak Easy

So lately I've been thinking a lot (I know, shocking isn't it?)and whenever I THINK I have life figured out and feel on top of the world, something happens and once again I'll feel lost and confused and stressed out. I doubt myself. I dwell on past mistakes. I stress over things that I have no control of. I try not to be affected by what others say or do, and for the most part I'm not, but eventually i'll have a weak moment or a really hard day and all of that negative stuff leaks in and just makes life hard. Sometimes I get so stressed out and burnt out from doing so many things that I just kinda shut down and want nothing more than to sit at home in my sweats and read a good book and forget the world for a little while. I wish I could be more "chill" about certain things, but I'm just not... The realization that i'm 22 years old and making life-changing decisions on my own stresses me out constantly. I worry about school and how i'm going to pay for everything. I worry about my family constantly. I miss my friends and wish I could see them more. I see all my friends getting engaged and married and worry about my lack of interest in finding a relationship. I put certain things in life on the back burner so I can more readily deal with other things in life, so when I end up lacking in a certain area in life I realize it's my own damn fault. Somehow I need to find balance again, but it's so hard to get there and even harder to maintain. So I guess for today I just need to think of all the things that make me happy in life: catching up and laughing with friends, good news from certain family members, kind words, family, and hope for a better tomorrow. My favorite song right now is "Speak Easy" by the one and only 311 :) ... 311 has a way to soothe my soul whenever I get like this.